image1-2.jpg

-Lydia

I am by no means a people person. Like most villains I am a classic introvert. I tend to put people into two categories, family and members of my community who I would go to the ends of the earth for, and everybody else...who should be destroyed. Here is the thing with people though, whether they are an ally or nemesis, when you decide to make a positive change in your life they can react unexpectedly. And to both positive and negative ends.

On the positive side they can be your best support system and you can't achieve goals with out one. Having people to cheer you on, celebrate your accomplishments, and most importantly encourage or sympathize with you when you fail are kind of necessary. Even people who you aren't close to can be a help. Sharing your goals also makes them more real and can create a sense of accountability. So yeah I think we can all agree that people are great and we all need each other and kumbaya and shit. If you have people like this in your life right now take care of them. Thank them for being there, make sure you give them the same support back. If you don't feel like you have people like that in your life at the moment don't stress it too much. Make sure you take the time to be your own cheerleader and treat yourself well. Look for opportunity to be a support team to somebody else, give them a pat on the back and some encouragement. These things will open you up to having more like minded people in your life.

Now I do want to talk about the toxic way people can effect you when making life changes. I have memories of being a kid and going crabbing with my dad and brother. When you catch crabs you throw them live into an empty bucket, without a lid, and keep crabbing, or at least that's how we did it. We never needed a lid or cages for them. You see in an effort to escape the bucket the crabs will continue to pull each other down. I'm telling you this odd story because people can often react much like crabs in a bucket. When you make the announcement that you have goals to lose weight, or drink less, or start a big project, some people will react with contempt and resentment. What they hear is not that their friend is trying to have a better life but instead that they are being abandon by their drinking buddy or that you now think your better then them.

So how do you handle toxic friends? It's hard but you have to remember that your making positive changes for you not for them. They are acting out because of they're own feelings of inadequacies not because of anything you said or did. Move forward and continue to do your best, if they are a good friend they will come around and maybe even be inspired by the changes you made. If they can't come around and don't know how to be happy for you then they may not be a person you need to see a lot of.

Comment